最新unit 8 love and rentment 課文翻譯教程文件

Unit 8

LOVE AND RESENTMENT

Barbara Bick

1. I straightened up from my weeding as the frenzied mutterings of anger reached me

from the hou. My muscles tightened. The screams were so muffled I could barely hear

them. "Get away from me, you filthy slut. Leave me alone."

2. I moved cautiously through the overgrown bushes, up against the bathroom window,

straining to catch the exact words. I want to understand my daughter. "Shut up! Shut up!

You always do everything wrong. Incompetent bitch?" The flushing toilet drowned out

the rest. I moved away quickly, shaken once again by her wild outbursts. Sometimes she

frightens me when she is clearly out of control. But this time I was reassured; she didn't

want me to hear. I bent to my weeding as she opened the screen door. She sat down. Her

face was calm and impassive.

3. "Can I help you, mother?" she asked as she lighted her umpteenth cigarette of the

morning and was shaken by her usual barking cough.

4. "Sure. Why don't you pull up some of the weeds between the bricks on the path."

5. "Oh, that's too hard," she said and she ttled deeper into the deck chair.

6. "Damn it, Kathy, why is everything too hard for you? Go ahead, get the stool and do

what you can." I snapped at her.

7. Damn it yourlf, I said to mylf. Why did I bring her up here? Why, why, why?

Yesterday had been rough. She had hurled accusation after accusation at me. "Why do

you always say I'm crazy?" she had yelled. "Don't you EVER tell me I'm a paranoid

schizophrenic again. That's all you ever do -- call me crazy and I'm not."

8. "Kathy," my voice quieter and quieter as hers ro in crescendo, "I have never called

you crazy. Plea, Kathy, keep your voice down. Kathy, stop it. Stop it right now!"

9. I shook away that memory and ro laboriously. I had just come to the island and

so I was eager to clean up my burgeoning garden after a winter's neglect. This is the

fourth year I have had this tiny treasure of a hou. It was to be my retreat from the

harassing city, the social and political commitments I take on each year, the needs of

family and friends.

10. For three summers I have brought my 40-year-old daughter to the island to spend

two weeks with me. Surely, I can live for two weeks with the tension and outbursts. Her

life is so limited and mine is so full. A short span of days, really, for me to take care of her;

to give her some joy. I have so many days, just for me, after she goes back to the city.

11. But I can't. I rent the tension. I lo patience. Sometimes I hate her. What is wrong

with me? I am strong and healthy; she is vulnerable and ill. It is always my choice to have

her here. But I count the days until she is gone and there are moments when I think, no,

not another summer. Why do this to mylf? Most of the time I know that the weeks are

too important to her; I cannot take them away.

12. She doesn't sleep well. Before I came up, I discusd the sleeping problem with her

psychiatrist so that he could prescribe some medication. I couldn't bring mylf to tell

him that I am afraid to be deep in sleep while she is awake. She is not physically violent.

In all the 24 years of her illness, she has attacked me only three times. But they remain

with me. Each time, her adrenaline-induced strength had overwhelmed me. And no

matter how intimate one is with this illness, the primordial fear of madness lurks deep

within. The medication the doctor suggested doesn't work and my bedroom here is an

open room without a door to lock. So, I sleep lightly the nights. I n the lights

blazing downstairs. I listen to her cough as she smokes and mutters through the long

hours. I try to imagine — out of my own healthy body — what it is like to be Kathy.

13. Physically, she always feels unwell. The antipsychotic medication has many

unpleasant side effects. More than that, she has no empathy with her own body, cannot

take care of it. She eats badly, drinks coffee constantly, smokes incessantly, does no

exerci. She has perpetual headaches and frequent stomachaches.

14. For years she suffered from Crohn's dia, a deep inflammation of the colon,

leaving her little or no control of her bowels. She has been plagued and humiliated by

accidents in public. People have responded to this affliction by yelling at her, calling her

filthy. She has silently accepted the appellation, taken it within her. "Filthy bitch!" she

yells at herlf. "Go away!"

15. I lie awake, my throat tight and aching as I remember the years when her illness was

more active, filled with agonizing hallucinations that most of us, during a lifetime,

experience for only conds in our worst, most aring nightmares.

16. She had been a normal, beautiful child. The changes began in high school. Kathy

started a diary when she was 16 years old. She wrote: "This morning I feel as though

someone took a file and sandpaper and scratched off all my epidermis. I feel raw and sore

and ugly and dirty and loathsome. I also have a headache and coffee makes it wor. I

escape thru dreams and the pressure of returning reality gives me a headache.

17. "Something inside me is going thru this funny, alien state, a n of being at the

mercy of some strange force, and this pathetic scarecrow figure inside me at the mercy of

other forces. My stomach is empty and gnawing and uneasy as if anything could fall in

and break the superstructure I hold up with all my force."

18. Kathy did go off to college. The trauma of her breakdown there was followed by the

deadening travail of the long arch for a psychiatric solution. Then, a decade of daily life

in the huge psychiatric hospital, the "crazy hou" as she always called it. In tho years,

she has never been able to draw a deep breath full of good life.

19. The daughter I would have had — were it not for this evil illness — exists in embryo

in the daughter I do have. After an outburst, she will come and tell me quietly: "I am sorry,

mother. I don't want to fight with you."

20. "Thank you," she will say: "for giving me a good day."

21. To admit the truth, sometimes I trigger her outburst. Like Tuesday, when I came

upon her pouring coffee straight from the jar, half filling her cup with the powder and

splattering grains over the counter. I ordered her, peremptorily: "Get a spoon, Kathy.

Can't you do things normally once in a while!"

22. She whirled and, in a shrill tone, screamed: "I am sick of you always telling me what

to do. I am an adult and I don't need you to tell me when to go to bed and when to get

up." Hysteria building up, she shouted: "You drive everyone to the edge of hemophiliac

absurdity!" Magnetic waves of burning energy rushed from her, hit me and I lashed back,

"Get out of this hou, Kathy. RIGHT NOW, get out!"

23. Later, in the evening, she almost whispers to me: "I've washed my hair, done my

nails, and I've cleaned up the dinner dishes. I feel much better now." And I feel sad and

ashamed. I know her greatest wish is to live with me all of the time, to have me take care

of her, cook her good meals every day as I do the two weeks on the island.

24. That I will not do. I must live my own life. But I will give her the small chunks of time:

the island for two weeks in summer; at home with me at Christmas; a trip to Florida to

e her grandparents. I will also allow mylf to rent it sometimes. Like my daughter,

like all other human beings, I am not spun of one thread. I love and hate the same person.

I am responsible and irresponsible. I will do the best I can with the worst I have to live

with.

愛與恨

1. 癲狂憤怒的喃喃自語聲從屋子里傳出來，我停止除草，站起身來。我渾身肌肉為之一緊。

2. 我悄悄地挪步穿過瘋長的灌木，來到浴室的窗前，豎起耳朵想聽清楚她究竟在說什么。

我想要了解女兒。“閉嘴！閉嘴！你做什么都做錯。沒有用的婊子……”抽水馬桶的聲音遮住

了下面的話。我很快走開，再一次為她瘋狂的吼叫聲震撼。有時候她顯然失控，令我害怕。

但是這一次，我很放心，她不想讓我聽見。她打開紗門時，我彎下腰除草。她坐了下來，面

無表情，卻很平靜。

3. “我幫幫你好嗎，媽媽？”她問道，邊說邊點上香煙已經不知道是這個上午的第幾根了，

隨后像往常一樣咳得渾身顫抖。

4. “好啊。那你就拔小路上地磚之間的野草吧。”

5. “哦，那太難了。”她說著就深深地躺在折疊椅上。

6. “胡說，凱西，你做什么事情不難？走開，帶著那張凳子，隨便你去做什么。”我對她呵

斥道。

7. 你自己活該，我自言自語。我為什么要把她帶到這兒來？為什么，為什么，為什么？

她昨天發作得很厲害。她對我連連破口大罵。“你為什么總說我是瘋子？”她尖聲叫道。“再

也不準提我患有偏執狂精神分裂癥。你就會這么說，說我瘋了，我不是瘋子。”

8. “凱西，”我的聲音越來越輕，而她的聲音卻越來越響。“我從來沒有說過你是瘋子。求

求你了，凱西，別叫了。凱西，住嘴。馬上住嘴！”

9. 我試圖擺脫那些記憶，吃力地站起身來。我剛回到島上，所以急于清理雜草叢生的園

子，一個冬天沒有整理了。我有這么一塊小小的寶地，已經是第四個年頭。這兒是我的避風

港，讓我可以擺脫城市的侵擾，逃避每年要做的社會、政治的工作，不去理會家人和朋友們

那尖叫聲含含糊糊，我差點兒沒聽見。“滾，臭婊子，離我遠點兒。”

的需求。

10. 連著三個夏天，我帶著40歲的女兒到島上來和我一起住上兩個星期。毫無疑問的是，

雖然神經很緊張，她會突然發作，但就兩個星期，我能承受的。她的生活圈子有限，而我的

卻很豐富。真的，我就照料她那么幾天，給她一些歡樂。她回城后，我有的是屬于自己的時

間。

11. 然而，連這我也做不到。我討厭神經緊張。我失去耐心。我有時候還恨她。我怎么啦？

我健康強壯，而她體弱多病。帶她來這兒每次都是我的決定。但是，我數著天數，數到她走

為止。還有的時候想過，不，明年夏天不帶她來了。為什么要這樣對待自己？大多數時

候，我知道，這幾個星期對她至關重要，我不能剝奪這點時間。

12. 她睡眠不好。上島之前，我與她的精神病醫生討論過她的睡眠問題，讓他開了些藥。我

對他說不出口的是，我害怕她醒著，而我卻睡得很沉。她不動武。她患病24年，期間只打

過我三次。但是，我記憶猶新。腎上腺素給她帶來的力量每次都把我打垮。無論你對這種病

情多么了解，內心深處總對瘋狂有種與生俱來的恐懼。醫生開的藥不起作用，而我這兒的臥

室是一間沒有門可以鎖的房間。所以，這幾個晚上，我睡得很淺。我意識到樓下燈火通明。

我聽見她咳嗽，連著好幾個小時又是抽煙，又是喃喃自語。我腦子里拼命地在想——以我健

康的身體——凱西過的是什么樣的日子。

13. 她的身體總是病怏怏的。這種治療精神病的藥物會產生許多不舒服的副作用。更嚴重

的是，她不愛惜自己的身體，不會自己照顧自己。她不好好進食，不斷地喝咖啡，不停地抽

煙，也不鍛煉身體。她長期頭痛，經常胃疼。

14. 多年來，她深受克羅恩氏病之苦，結腸有嚴重炎癥，使得她幾乎控制不住大便，已經

在公開場合因失控屢屢遭到麻煩和羞辱。人們對她的這種痛苦，只是大聲斥責，說她骯臟齷

齪。她默默地承受著這種羞辱，深藏在心里。“骯臟的婊子！”她對自己吼道。“滾開！”

15. 我躺在床上，無法入眠，一想到她病情更加嚴重的那幾年，我只覺得喉嚨抽緊，一陣

疼痛。那些年，她飽受幻覺癥的折磨，這種幻覺是我們多數人一生中只有數秒鐘會經歷到的

最恐怖、最痛苦的噩夢。

16. 她曾經是個正常、美麗的孩子。在上中學時開始有了變化。她16歲那年開始記日記。

她寫道：“今天上午，我覺得好像有人拿著銼刀和砂紙，刮去了我的表皮。我覺得自己紅腫、

疼痛、丑陋、骯臟，還討人嫌。我還頭疼，喝了咖啡頭疼更厲害。我在夢中暫時逃避，而重

回現實的壓力使我頭疼。”

17. “我的內心經歷著這種好笑的、古怪的狀態，有一種受到某種奇怪的力量擺布的感覺，

而且這個藏在內心里可憐的怪物也在受到別的力量的擺布。我的胃里空空的，隱隱作痛，很

不舒服，好像什么東西進去都會損毀自己全力支撐著的身體結構。”

18. 凱西的確去上了大學。隨著她在那兒精神崩潰造成的創傷，接踵而來的便是長期尋求精

神治療而帶來的麻木的痛苦。接著十個年頭，天天去一家龐大的精神病醫院，她總把它叫做

“瘋人院”。那些年，她從來沒有呼吸過正常生活的空氣。

19. 要不是這個倒霉的疾病，我本來也應該有一個生來正常的女兒，而我現在這個女兒的身

上也具有一些這樣基本的品質。大發一通脾氣之后，她會過來對我悄悄地說：“對不起，媽

媽，我不想跟你鬧。”

20. “謝謝您，”她會說，“讓我這一天很開心。”

21. 說老實話，有時候是我惹她發脾氣的。像星期二那天，我碰巧看見她直接從罐子里倒咖

啡，杯子里倒了半杯咖啡粉，桌子上也撒得到處都是。我命令她，口氣很蠻橫：“拿把調羹，

凱西，難道你就不能偶爾正常一點嗎？”

22. 她猛地轉過身來，用犀利的聲音尖叫道：“老是指揮我做這做那，我討厭你。我是個成

年人了，用不著你來告訴我什么時候睡覺，什么時候起床。”她越來越歇斯底里地喊叫道：“你

把每個人都逼得瘋瘋癲癲了！”她身上迸發出瘋狂的怒火，她打我，我隨手回擊過去，“從這

房子里滾出去，凱西。馬上，滾出去！”

23. 過后，到了晚上，她幾乎是悄悄地對我說：“我洗過頭發了，剪過指甲了，也把晚飯的

盤子洗干凈了。我覺得好多了。”于是，我感到難過和羞愧。我知道，她最大的愿望是一直

和我住在一起，讓我照顧她，每天給她烹制可口的飯菜，就像在島上的這兩周。

24. 那樣我做不到。我必須過自己的生活。然而，我會給她一小塊一小塊的時間：夏天在島

上過兩周，圣誕節到家里和我待在一起，到佛羅里達去探望爺爺奶奶。有時候，我也允許讓

自己討厭這些事情。像我的女兒，也像所有的其他人，我并不是由一根線編結出來的。對同

一個人我既愛又恨。我負責任，又逃避責任。我將盡我所能處理生活中不可避免的最糟糕的

情況。

靈璧向陽加油站油罐

拆除施工方案

一、拆除概況

1．拆除內容：15m汽油罐1個；15m柴油罐1個及附屬管線。

33

2．拆除地點：靈璧縣向陽鎮向陽加油站內

3．安全目標：安全事故為零

4.計劃開、竣工日期：按合同工期要求。

5.簡介：本油庫于2012年停止運行，油罐及附管線可能有殘留

廢油，屬于石油化工危險設施設備，本次拆除油罐屬于易燃易爆舊油

罐，因此對于拆除油罐安全性施工非常重要，必須嚴格按照施工方案

要求進行施工。

二、編制依據：

1.甲方工程師現場交底及自行現場勘察咨詢資料；

2.以往改造加油站的施工經驗；

3.本公司編制的施工質量、安全管理文件；

4.工程應用的主要規范、規程等。

三、技術及施工現場準備

1.拆除前組織項目部技術人員認真分析現場實際情況，制定施

工方案，并做好技術交底。

2.根據方案做好勞動力計劃及設備、材料計劃準備工作。