2023年12月10日發(作者:文明校園內容)

從心所欲,不逾矩——英漢翻譯之我見
英漢翻譯是建立在兩種語言的對比研究之上的。從句法層面講,英語是形和句式 hypotactic syntax, 而中文是一意和句式 paratactic
syntax。這點往往被譯者忽略,結果使用歐化的長句,名詞前面有很長的定語,句子像野草滋蔓無度。董樂山先生翻譯的《西方人文主義傳統》(三聯出版社)就是這樣的典型。他的譯文準確,但很累人。越是強調形似,往往越是不能譯出原文的內在邏輯關系。下面一句話的中譯文緊扣原文,卻沒能使原文語義顯豁。作者用Lowland trees 與pine做對比,從而突出后者。譯文中須要強調的是原文中的條件句。
Lowland trees may lean to this side and that, though it is but a
meadow breeze that bends them ; or a bank of cowslips from which their
trunks lean aslope. But let storm and avalanche do their worst, and let
the pine find only a ledge of vertical precipice to cling to, it will
nevertheless grow straight.
低地上的樹木會東倒西歪,雖說使它們弓腰彎背的,不過是草地上吹過的一陣陣微風;或者,它們的軀干歪倒到一邊,不過是由于一排野櫻桃的影響。可是,盡管風暴和雪崩恣意摧殘,松樹所能依附的只是峭壁上一塊凸出的巖石,它依然長得筆挺。
改譯:即使草地上吹過的一陣陣微風,低地上的樹木就會弓腰彎背,東倒西歪;即使不過是由于一排野櫻桃的影響,它們的軀干歪倒到一邊。但是任憑風暴和雪崩恣意摧殘,哪怕松樹所能依附的只是峭壁上一塊凸出的巖石,它依然長得筆挺
英語的長句完全可以譯成中文意和的流水句,同樣也不失其邏輯性,如許國璋先生譯的密爾頓的《論出版自由》。
They who to states and governors of Common wealth direct their
speech, High Court of Parliament, or wanting such access in private
condition, write that which they foree may advance for the public
good, I suppo them, as at the beginning of no mean endeavor, not a
little altered or moved inwardly in their mind; some with doubt of what
will be the success, others with fear of what will be the censure; some
with hope, other with confidence of what they have to speak.
夫為國獻言,大夫條陳于明堂,議政于國會;一介之士則撰文章。文章,大業也。執筆之際,情為之移,神為之奮,或憂其敗,或慮其
1 禍,或切盼其成功,或信其說必行。 [《英國散文流變》, p40]
原文是典型的拉丁句式,結構復雜,在句子主干上有很多附屬成分,如條條藤蔓攀附于樹干之上。而譯者在縷順了原文的邏輯關系后,使用古漢語的駢文譯之,語氣和原文一樣排奡。可見英漢翻譯要發揚漢語之長——簡潔得一目了然,而且要發揮駢文的排比、對仗的對稱美,和強烈節奏感的音韻美。
如果原文使用了parallelism,那么譯文就更應該發揮中文的優勢了。下面的排比句子出自 Henry Grady’s 《 The Race Problem in the
South》,譯者使用駢文譯之。
In the same field, the clover steals the fragrance of the wind, and the
tobacco catches the quick aroma of the rains. And …the river that,
tumbling or loitering, run wanton to the a.
風吹苜蓿偷香,雨打煙葉送馥。…江河汩汩,迤邐入海。 [《名人演說100篇》, p293,商務印書館(北京)1986]
但是,使用中文的意和句式,使原文結構顯豁的處理不能違背原文的語義,也就是“從心所欲,不逾矩”。句子的結構是語義的一部分,不能正確理解句法結構就會譯錯。下面一句話出自羅伯斯比爾的臨刑演說,北京大學的石幼珊教授譯錯了。
Wherefore should I continue in an order of things, where intrigue陰謀 eternally triumphs over truth; where justice is mocked; where
passions the most abject卑鄙的, or fears the most absurd, override踐踏 the sacred interests of humanity?
當陰謀詭計永遠壓到真理、正義受到嘲弄、熱情常遭鄙夷、有所忌憚被視為荒誕無稽,而壓迫欺凌被當作人類神圣不可侵犯的權利時,我還能在這樣的制度下做什么呢?[《名人演說100篇》, p101,商務印書館(北京)1986]
原文中passions the most abject, or fears the most absurd, 兩個同位語詞組是override的主語,因此,筆者改譯如下:當陰謀詭計永遠壓到真理,正義受到嘲弄,當某些人出于猥瑣的情感、荒謬的忌憚心理,踐踏了人類神圣不可侵犯的權利,我還能在這樣的制度下做什么呢?
在商務印書館出版的穆勒《論自由》的中譯本中,有很多因為沒有搞懂原文的復雜句式而產生的錯譯。下面就是幾個典型例子。
①It would be a great misunderstanding of this doctrine, to suppo
that it is one of lfish indifference, which pretends that human beings
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have no business with each other's conduct in life, and that they should
not concern themlves about the well-doing or well-being of one another,
unless their own interest is involved. ②Instead of any diminution, there
is need of a great increa of disinterested exertion to promote the good
of others. ③But disinterested benevolence can find other instruments to
persuade people to their good, than whips and scourges, either of the
literal or the metaphorical sort. ④I am the last person to undervalue the
lf-regarding virtues; they are only cond in importance, if even cond,
to the social……. ⑤The interference of society to overrule his judgment
and purpos in what only regards himlf, must be grounded on general
presumptions; which may be altogether wrong, and even if right, are as
likely as not to be misapplied to individual cas, by persons no better
acquainted with the circumstances of such cas than tho are who look
at them merely from without. [John Stuart Mill’s “On Liberty”
chapter IV]
①對于這個教義,如果有人認定它是“各人自掃門前雪,不管他人瓦上霜”的說法,認定它硬說人類彼此之間在生活中的行為上各不相干,硬說每人除非牽涉到自己的利害就不應當涉身于他人的善行或福祉,那就是一個很大的誤解。②毫無疑義,為著促進他人的好處的無私效勞決不需要有任何降減而是需要有大大增加的。③但是無私的慈善盡能夠找到其他工具勸使人們得到好處,而不必使用鞭子或板子,無論是扣緊字義來說的或者是借作比喻來說的鞭子或板子。④若說有誰低估個人道德,我是倒數第一名;個人道德在重要性上僅僅次于,假如還能說是次于,社會道德。??⑤社會在個人只關己身的事情上要強使他一反其自己的判斷和目的,這種干涉只能是以一般的臆斷為根據;可是這種一般臆斷可能完全錯誤,而且即使是對的,怕也還是不可由一些對于某些個別情事的情況只不過有著僅僅從外表看來的一點認識的人錯誤地應用于那些個別情事。 (程崇華 譯 商務印書館 漢譯世界名著叢書)
句① 對于這個教義,如果有人認定它是“各人自掃門前雪,不管他人瓦上霜”的說法,認定它硬說人類彼此之間在生活中的行為上各不相干,硬說每人除非牽涉到自己的利害就不應當涉身于他人的善行或福祉,那就是一個很大的誤解。
譯者錯誤的理解原文的結構:to suppo, 與which pretends不是并列關系,which pretends that…and that….是 doctrine的定語。
改:這種準則看上去似乎認為人與人在生活中的行為互不相干,
3 除非個人利害攸關,不然就不應該關注他人的善行與福祉。如果認為這種準則實質是自私的冷漠,那就是極大的誤解。 [《英國文化選本(上),楊自伍編》
句② 毫無疑義,為著促進他人的好處的無私效勞決不需要有任何降減而是需要有大大增加的。正確。
句③但是無私的慈善盡能夠找到其他工具勸使人們得到好處,而不必使用鞭子或板子,無論是扣緊字義來說的或者是借作比喻來說的鞭子或板子。
錯誤的理解原文的結構:But disinterested benevolence can find
other instruments to persuade people to their good, than whips and
scourges, either of the literal or the metaphorical sort. “either of the
literal or the metaphorical sort.”修飾other instruments 與to persuade
people to their good, than whips and scourges, 是同位關系。
改:但促進人們為善的無私義舉能夠采用有異于鞭子和鞭撻的的工具,無論是字面意義上的還是比喻意義上的。[同上]
④若說有誰低估個人道德,我是倒數第一名;個人道德在重要性上僅僅次于,假如還能說是次于,社會道德。??
語義理解錯誤:be the last person to 是 would not in the least 的意思,譯為“絕不”。
改:我決不會低估關心自我的德行。 [同上]
句⑤ 社會在個人只關己身的事情上要強使他一反其自己的判斷和目的,這種干涉只能是以一般的臆斷為根據;可是這種一般臆斷可能完全錯誤,而且即使是對的,怕也還是不可由一些對于某些個別情事的情況只不過有著僅僅從外表看來的一點認識的人錯誤地應用于那些個別情事。
錯誤①as likely as not to 是 very likely的意思,譯成很可能,不應該翻譯成 怕也還是改 社會介入純粹個人的事物從而控制個人的判斷與意志,必須給予一般的假設,而這些假設很可能是大謬不然的,即使有其合理之處,也很有可能在應用于個別案例時被人誤用。[同上]錯誤② by persons no better acquainted with the circumstances of
such cas than tho are who look at them merely from without. 結構理解錯誤,no better than 是 和…一樣的意思。原文的意思是 這些人和局外人一樣對個案知之甚少。改:這些人對個案細節詳情毫不了解,相當于完全的局外人。 [同上]
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以上是英漢兩族語在句法層面上的比較。在詞匯層面上,英語抽象,而中文就極具優勢,因為中文是象形文字,表意具體。而抽象詞語的翻譯也正是英漢互譯的難點。下面一句話也出自羅伯斯比爾的同一篇最后演說, 石幼珊教授給出了妙譯。
In witnessing the multitude眾多 of vices which the torrent奔流
of the Revolution has rolled in turbid渾濁的 communion共享 with
its civic市的 virtues,…
目睹在革命的大潮中,泥沙俱下,魚龍混雜…[《名人演說100篇》商務印書館(北京)1986]
在韋伯斯特的《論美國的革命傳統》的中譯文中還有很多針對抽象詞語的妙譯。如
Sink or swim, live or die, survive or perish, I give my hand and
my heart to this vote..
無論是生存死亡、成功失敗,我將舉雙手贊成獨立宣言。
Through the thick gloom of the prent I e the brightness of the
future as the sun in heaven. We shall make this a glorious, an immortal
day. When we are in our grave, our children will honor it. They will
celebrate it with thanksgiving, with festivity, with bonfires, and
illuminations. On its annual return, they will shed tears, copious,
gushing tears …
透過目前陰沉的形勢,我看到了光明的遠景,有如昭昭天日。今天將作為光榮不朽的日子載入史冊。當我們長眠地下時,我們的子孫將紀念這個日子。他們將感激滿懷,載歌載舞,高燃篝火,張燈結彩慶此佳節。年年此時,他們將痛灑熱淚,濕袖沾襟… [同上]
如果不能搞清詞匯在具體語境中的涵義,譯文定會出錯。下面一句話出自哈代的小說《苔絲》第四章,原文是諷刺人們酒后亢奮狀態的,而孫致禮教授的譯文卻是在揄揚他們。
The stage of mental comfort to which they had arrived at this hour
was one wherein their souls expanded beyond their skins, and spread
their personalities warmly through the room.
這個時候,他們已經到了心曠神怡的程度,一個個魂靈超脫了形骸,在屋子里熱切地表現自我。
5 這句改譯為:這個時候,他們已經到了心醉神迷的地步,一個個放浪形骸,丑態百出。
下面一段話選自赫胥黎的《論開明教育》,用比喻論證說明人生如同下棋,對方是嚴酷的現實世界,我們只有東西世界的規律,并按其行事,才不會被對方打敗。
Yet it is a very plain and elementary truth, that the life, the fortune,
and the happiness of every one of us, and, more or less, of tho who are
connected with us, do depend upon our knowing something of the rules
of a game infinitely more difficult and complicated than chess. It is a
game which has been played for untold ages, every man and woman of
us being one of the two players in a game of his or her own. The
chessboard is the world, the pieces are the phenomena of the univer,
the rules of the game are what we call the laws of Nature. The player on
the other side is hidden from us. We know that his play is always fair, just,
and patient. But also we know, to our cost, that he never overlooks a
mistake, or makes the smallest allowance for ignorance. To the man who
plays well, the highest stakes are paid, with that sort of overflowing
generosity with which the strong shows delight in strength. And one who
plays ill is checkmated—without haste, but without remor
斜體字的譯文:出色的奕者將獲得豐厚的回報,那是強者對智慧和力量表現出的極其慷慨的贊許。不懂對弈的人則會被將死——不慌不忙,又毫不留情。仔細分析一下,the strong 是指我們的對手,那位隱而不顯的對弈高手,他絕對強大,經常將死我們,但他卻偏偏樂于同強者交鋒,the strong shows delight in strength。于是sort of
overflowing generosity就不難理解了,指對方會傾其所有下上賭注。這樣把原句應改譯如下:To the man who plays well, the highest stakes
are paid, with that sort of overflowing generosity with which the strong
shows delight in strength. And one who plays ill is checkmated—without
haste, but without remor對方這位博弈高手在棋逢對手時會欣然罄其所有,孤注一奕。而對于拙于博弈的人,他會不慌不忙的堅決將死。
總之,英譯漢無論從句法還是詞匯層面,都要求譯者發揮中文優勢,翻譯就是在創造,使用中文最好的表達方式——句法和詞匯——譯出原文。但是創造不能違背原文的語義,甚至風格。
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